Envy?

Envy is a jealous but different in alphabet and in English dictionary. Some people believe that as a good thing in some aspect. Such as: when you see a friend of yours is going to be better and better at something you are good at, your heart will feel hurt and you want to be like your mate. This is exactly what I sense now. I even do not know why I never feel better. I just always get worse. Sometimes, I ask myself, “what’s wrong with me? are you an Idiot? yes, you are!” Not only you gain the pain in your heart but it is like there is something stab deeply right in your heart.

Alternatively, some of them argue it as a goodness. They guess it is something which should be avoided. Furthermore, “Envy is one of the deadly sins.” their reason.

Ultimately, this is kinda thing which should be abolished, indeed yes, but wait, I think it is not. It depends on your envy because according to most of them, If it is good, just keep it.